tis the season

as ascher's first Christmas approaches, we have to begin considering our traditions. what traditions do we want to "borrow" from our families and what traditions do we want to ditch?

we made the decision to stay home this year and spend Christmas day at our house. we are incredibly fortunate to still be able to spend the day with family...jeff's parents will join us to celebrate! it was important to us to stay home and rest after such an incredibly busy year! also, in the four and a half years jeff and i have been together, we've traveled every year! we've never spent a Christmas in our own home. the travel has never bothered us (obviously, or we wouldn't have done it)...we love spending time with our families. but, i swore that this year, Christmas breakfast wouldn't be purchased at a McDonald's in a truck stop! don't laugh...it's been done. rest assured, there is nothing more classy than an egg mcmuffin to celebrate the season!

i wish i could say that our stockings were hung from the chimney with care, but they have yet to be hung. things have been busy and obviously, jeff and i still aren't adept at multi-tasking! we're still learning and adapting to parenthood (at five and a half months, there is still so much to learn!) and getting the decorations and the tree up has been put on the back burner! time to get in the holiday spirit and show ash what the season is all about!

so, yeah, it's been a while...

you know that promise that jeff and i made to blog on a (somewhat) regular basis and at the very least post a letter to the bugga once a month? fail. fail miserably. yeah, we suck. how sad is it that i couldn't even write something once a month? very, very sad.

i have written a thousand posts in my head, but have yet to type one out. which is frustrating because there is so much that i want to remember. i don't want to forget a single thing about ascher as he grows up.

i want to always remember the smell when he's out of the bath and slathered in burt's bee's lotion. i want to remember the way his hair has been sprouting and not a single hair lays down...literally, it all stands up at the back of his head. i want to engrave in my memory the way he smiles at us in the mornings when we go to get him out of his crib (and how i sing to him every morning, "good morning, good morning, good morning to you."). i never want to lose the feeling of him holding my face with his chubby hands and giving me "kisses." i don't want to lose the mental image of him laying on the changing table and laughing at simple pleasure of getting his toes.

jeff and i have been truly blessed. ascher is such a happy, amazing child. he smiles constantly and loves to be on the go. seeing that grin makes every day so easy. he's incredibly vocal and has an ever-increasing "vocabulary."

changes are in the air...i'm heading back to work and ash is going to daycare. i think it's a good time for him to transition him. am i going to miss him? terribly so. i will miss spending our days together. i will miss him napping on my chest. i know that daycare won't change the bond that i have with him, but it's still going to be difficult not to have him with me!

i plan on making a true effort on the blogging front. bear with me...

busy little bees

things that i have been doing other than blogging:

• hugging and squeezing my chubby baby boy
• spending time with my wonderful hubs
• moving out of our temporary living and into our forever home
• unpacking and organizing said forever home
• preparing for lots of visitors - yea!

soon enough, things will be back to "normal" and i will have time to blog again. i cross my heart and kiss my elbow.

month two

though slightly late, here are our two-month letters to ascher...

my dear bug,

my goodness how the past month has flown by! busy, busy, busy...we kept you on the move this month. this month included a lot of firsts for you...first flight, first hotel stay, first shots, first bottle, first move, first whited family dinner! we were active and you survived all of the chaos. and so did we!

i'll try to go in chronological order: first, we flew to ohio to look for a place to live. work situations forced us to consider relocating earlier than expected. daddy was hired at a company in cincinnati and from then things just fell into place. we were apprehensive traveling with you and had actually considered having just daddy make the trip. but here's the thing...mama was scared to stay at home for several days with just the two of us! that's right, i was scared of my little bug. i'll let you in on a little secret, though...your dad is a pretty handy guy to have around and helps me out a lot! turns out, we were worried for nothing! you were an excellent traveler. you slept through all of the flights and only cried during boarding (only because you were hungry, my little piggy!). and to our amazement, you survived looking at homes for two days in a row! our realtor (scot) showed us almost 30 homes in the two days! you were such a trooper!

because of the impending move, we had to move up your two-month doctors appointment. we went in on your 6-week birthday (august 11). dr. williamson suggested getting your shots out of the way so we wouldn't have to deal with it right when we arrived in cincy. needles? i wasn't prepared for shots! you were not happy with the situation, either! the nurse gave you one of the oral vaccinations while you were sleeping in daddy's arms. you must have thought you were having a sweet dream...all that yummy cherry-flavored syrup! daddy helped the nurses lay you on the table and he held your arms while they counted to three and gave you shots in each leg. your mama is a wimp...i stood in the corner, covering my eyes and crying! we did get good news, though...your weight was an encouraging sign that you were thriving and you were already up to almost 12 pounds!

daddy anticipated his last day of work and we got the apartment in order in preparation for our move. we had a stressful week of waiting to hear about our future home in cincy. thank goodness they accepted our offer (finally)! we know that we will create a lifetime of memories in our future home, watching you grow and expanding our family. we hope that you love the house as much as we do!

after the movers packed up the apartment (and after a brief stay at the courtyard where mama had worked for the past year), it was time to hit the road. while i would like to say the drive was all unicorns and rainbows, there were some stressful points! let's just say that at an hour into the drive, i had nursed you in the post office parking lot, you had puked in my crotch (yeah, you're impressive), and we both had broke down in tears. i wondered what the hell your dad and i were thinking. those parts of the drive were so stressful. overall, you did amazing in the car, though. we stopped a lot and stretched. for the most part, every time we got you out of the car, you were smiling and happy. we arrived at the apartment (temporary living for the next month) on saturday afternoon and you were back to your happy self. i felt like you were telling us it was going to be okay. i know that we took a giant leap of faith moving you cross country, but i felt like we were making the right decision. your ability to adjust so smoothly helped me feel even better about the decision.

with daddy still off work, we were able to spend time together. we made a trip to lafayette and indianapolis to visit family. you finally met your uncle israel, aunt tammy and aunt cera. only aunt sis left to meet! you met cousin dahlia and you're almost as big as she is! she's got some catching up to do!

enough about what we did...what about you? you did a lot of growing this month! when i look at your hospital pictures, you look like a completely different boy! you react to us so well...smiling when we smile. my cup runneth over when you look at me with that big grin. you have found your hands and you love chewing on your fists. you hold your head up much better than you probably should at your age. you tolerate tummy time, but in general, you're not overly enthusiastic about the situation. you stare at me with the most intense concentration and i wish i knew what was going through your head. what are you thinking those times? you love kicking your feet and you flail about in your bouncy seat. i sit you in the kitchen and you watch me cook. you have grown out of clothes at a rapid rate! you love hearing yourself "talk" (oh so much like your mama) and have a very high pitched squeal. please forgive me for calling you ashley when you make that ear-piercing sound (i say that ashley is your evil twin)! you should probably discuss it with your therapist when you're older. just put that on the laundry list of topics...there will be more, i'm certain of it!

regarding parenting, things have started to get easier. well, maybe things aren't easier...maybe daddy and i are just learning how to handle things better. we are able to distinguish cries and are typically able to figure out what's bothering you. we are slowly developing a routine (though that will change once we move into the house) and i finally feel comfortable going places with you and feel fairly confident you won't have a complete meltdown in a public place.

overall, you are an amazing boy and i love watching you change on a daily basis. you amaze me to no end and i am so proud of you. i adore being a mother and feel so protective of you. i wish that i could bottle this up and save it all for later, but i look forward to the next month of changes. i don't want to forget a single moment of your childhood.

all my love,

mama

I am not sure I want all of your posts to be based on a single word theme, but it just seems to fit again this month. The word for month number two is, travel. Your second month started with a trip to our new hometown, Cincinnati, OH. After only thirteen months in New Hampshire, an opportunity to take a new job and move back to the Midwest was just too good to pass up. It was a difficult decision but we packed up your diapers and hopped on an airplane to look for a house to call home. Your trip started out great. We made it through security with no problems and found a nice quiet place for you to eat while we waited for our plane. Then the complications began… it seems there was a bomb scare in NYC where our flight was supposed to be connecting, so instead getting into OH at noon, we arrived at 7pm by way of Charlotte, NC. Funniest thing, you probably handled the delay better than we did. Seems you just love to be on the move, something we will begin to learn over the next few weeks. The home finding trip went well and we ended up finding the home of our dreams. It has tons of space and I can’t wait to watch you grow up in it.

The best part of your second month for me was that I got to spend 2 full weeks of it with you and mommy. I took two weeks of work off between Stryker Biotech and Amylin Pharmaceuticals, to make the move easier. The time off did help the move, but the unexpected benefit was the bonding time with you. Spending the whole day at home watching you grow, was amazing. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was missing lots of milestones while I was off to work. I will forever remember those two weeks as the time I got to know my ‘bugga’.

The final weeks of the month were spent where it started, traveling. The move from Lebanon, NH to Cincinnati, OH covered 850 miles, 5 states, and two full days in the car. You handled the car well and laughed along with dad as mommy played girls gone wild in every truck stop between NH and OH. We were pleasantly surprised with the temporary apartment and it was here that you spent your first night outside of mom and dad’s room. I only panicked once and moved you into our room to make sure I could keep a closer eye on you. I was certain you weren’t breathing… of course I was wrong, but a daddy can’t be too careful.

The month of travel ended with a long weekend in Indiana. I will leave it to mom to describe the trip, but a boy’s first trip to the infamous ‘West Point’ is always a memorable one (ask your mom about your mustache). So there you have it, nearly 2000 miles covering 7 states; New Hampshire, Vermont, New York, Pennsylvania, North Carolina, Ohio, and Indiana. You are quite the traveler little boy, and this is only the beginning!

Love your captain and chauffeur, Dad

parent epiphany #597

words of wisdom to live by, brought to you by jeff...diaper changes are much easier in shorts and a t-shirt than they are in a onesie and pants.  

you're only here for the photos anyway...

since neither of us have time for a legitimate blog post (yeah, because jeff posts...), my plan is to focus on the pictures!

he's already pretty bored with the camera...

this is ash "mean muggin" for the camera.  don't mess with him!
just kidding!  he's a lover, not a fighter...
on our trip to ohio...stopping at random gas stations along the way!
more pictures to follow.  this is the only way i can get posts out...they are quick and easy.  

updates...road trip, family dinners, etc.

a road trip with two adults?  14 hours split over two days.  a road trip with two adults, one 7-week old (almost 8-weeks!), and a dog?  24 hours split over two days.  

our road trip in numbers: 

1 mama

1 daddy

1 ascher

1 ginger

2 vehicles

4 gas stops

1 la quinta hotel (seriously?!  i'm a marriott girl through and through)

1 greasy spoon diner in backwoods new york

countless diaper changes

1 diaper change on a picnic table...ascher butt on display for all of ny to see!

approximately a dozen meltdowns (half by mama, half by ash)

but, we made it.  we were exhausted, but we made it to our temporary living by saturday evening around 5:00 pm.  ash was so ready to be out of the car and made it known by screaming for the last twenty minutes (while stuck in traffic...go team!).  the binky did little to satisfy him, but we made it!  

we will be in the apartment for the next month.  the close date on our house is set for september 30th.  jeff starts work next monday.  until then, we are exploring our new city.  right now, i have no idea where anything is!  keep your mitts crossed that i don't get lost (too bad).  my crystal ball says a navigation system might be in the near future.  

ash's big two-month birthday is coming up soon!  he's changed so much in the past few weeks and his personality is really developing.  overall, he is a very happy baby!  he doesn't cry unless there is a specific issue...hunger, pee pants or sleepiness.  i've gotten better at distinguishing those cries.  i talk to him all the time...telling stories or just telling him about our surroundings.  he smiles in response to our voices and makes me proud to no end!  i love that he recognizes us.  i have a lot to include in his month-end letter.  a lot of changes.  and a lot more to come.   

this weekend, we are visiting my family.  ascher gets to experience his first of the mama's-family dinners!  going into this experience, there are a few things that i have warned him about:  my family is big, my family is loud and we love to eat!  our best conversations and our best memories have been created in a kitchen, surrounded by enormous amounts of food!  i'm sure he'll figure these things out on his own, but i feel that he should be warned in advance.  our family dinners are nothing if not overwhelming.  overwhelming in the best possible way.  i feel confident that ash will grow up being surrounded by love...especially at our family dinners. 

gettin in the way

moving and a certain 12-pound little man (12?!  yep!) have curtailed any attempts at blogging.  hopefully things will be back to "normal" soon...

street festivals

dear city of woodstock,

it's no fair for you to call it a "taste" when there are only two food vendors. especially when one vendor is selling kettle corn. and not a single vendor peddling trashy trinkets? scandalous! this misleading title only sets you up to disappoint hoards of unsuspecting tourists. and by hoards of unsuspecting tourists, of course i mean...well, me.

thank goodness your little city boasts bentley's near the green. no, not an ultra-luxe ride, but a quaint little pub. i appreciate that courtesy. at least the hubby & i didn't starve.

what you had was not a "taste," but a sidewalk sale of sorts. please use the appropriate verbiage in future scenarios. this will help those unsuspecting tourists (me) in the future.

sincerely yours,
a

moving day is set!

here's the deal...jeff and i are relocating. yes, we've only been in new england for a year. i swear we're really not that restless. jeff's company was doing layoffs and we wanted to be one step ahead of the game. we were thinking about our future. when you throw a baby (please, don't literally throw a baby) into the mix, your plans change drastically. imagine the stress...you're home from the hospital (for about two days) with your new baby and you get the call that layoffs are occurring at that very moment. way to add some stress to new parents. thank you, fda.

we moved here with just the three of us (duh...ginger). we'll be leaving here with a new addition. even before the first box is packed, i can tell you that moving 1000 miles was a much easier process without a baby.

in preparation for our move to cincinnati, we went on a home-buying trip. basically, we traveled many, many miles to wear ourselves out looking at houses. sounds like fun, doesn't it? add to that equation a one month old baby and you've got yourself a great recipe for a meltdown. granted, jeff could have made the trip alone, but ash and i felt it was important to put our two cents in on our future home. thank goodness we did...jeff and i discussed it later and realized that it would have been brutal for him to do on his own.

the move date is set. movers will be here to pack up the apartment on august 19 and 20. we'll leave the morning of the 21st. we're splitting the drive over two days...and ash's state count will increase dramatically. ideally, we would ship one car, but unfortunately, we need the space of two cars. the downside of babies...they require a lot of stuff! not only diapers and clothes, but the swing, the bouncy seat, the pack and play! our plan is to travel together and stop frequently to give ash lots of breaks. i can tell you that this drive is going to be significantly different than the drive jeff and i made to new england. pray that it's easy for all of us! time to make some road trip cd's. suggestions for good traveling music is greatly appreciated!

today, jeff and i taking ascher to his first street festival. though you may not know this, i adore street festivals! i love perusing the vendors and checking out the food. the thing is...i have a soft spot for junky trinkets (i blame you, marion jr.) and street food (i wish i had someone to blame for that). ascher will experience "the taste of woodstock." mind you, this may not have the pizzaz of "the taste of chicago," but i'm confident woodstock will not disappoint. i'll keep you updated!

and, just to amuse you...some photos!
my little man helping me blog. bloggers...hide your daughters!
ash showing us that traveling isn't that big of a deal

ascher and the charlotte skyline
isn't this how you spend you saturday mornings...kicked back and half-dressed?
well, the boy is up from his nap. time to jump into mommy mode. i'll let you know about that street fest!

welcoming ascher, continued

*i didn't go back and proofread this post, so i apologize for any spelling and/or grammar errors. blame ash...it's all his fault.

i really need to get back into blogging on a regular basis. it's been more difficult to find the time than i thought it would be. ascher is time-consuming to say the least. not that i would have it any other way. i love taking care of him and wouldn't trade him for anything!

i still haven't finished chronicling my birth story. when we left off, jeff and i were headed to the hospital. this post has been a long time coming…

on our way to the hospital, my modesty went even further out the window when i had to have jeff pull over so i could puke. it was a slightly humbling experience, especially since there was some random man watching me from his house! i'm sure i looked like a careless, drunk teenage...puking from the driver-side door at 3:00 a.m.! we checked into the hospital and my nurse knew this was legitimate labor! apparently, i had that look about me...something that women in "fake" labor don't have!

at the hospital, i immediately requested an epidural. i was not one of those delusional women, thinking i could have a baby without the assistance of drugs! as my boss says, "we're not cave women!" i knew that an epidural was a necessity. thank goodness the hospital has a policy...the on-call anesthesiologist has to be within 30 minutes of the hospital. for all the relief i knew it was going to bring, i was scared of the actual process of administering the epidural. combine my fear of needles with the horror stories i had heard...yikes! turns out, people are damn liars. please, liars, stop doing that to pregnant women! even though i had uncontrollable shakes (are those a bi-product of the pain? how weird!), the process was quick and painless. within minutes, i was settled in and comfortable. jeff says i got way more chatty at that point. all i know is that i was prepared to make the anesthesiologist my bff! for those of you who haven't experienced the joys of childbirth (sarcasm) or the joys of an epidural (no sarcasm), it doesn't eliminate the pain. it dulls it and makes it more manageable. still completely worth it, no matter how you look at it.

since my pain was under control, the nurse suggested i take a nap. not sure if you've been in labor, but napping isn't high on the to-do list. you're in pain, you're adrenaline is pumping and you're in a strange place...not an ideal conditions for sleep. around 6:30 a.m., i started to feel the urge to push. at that point, i was fully dilated and ascher was ready to make his debut.

after several hours of pushing (around 9:30 a.m.), my doctor suggested that we use the vacuum to give ascher some incentive to make his exit. though i didn't have a set birth plan, there were certain things jeff and i had discussed prior to going into labor. i knew that i wanted to avoid forceps or the vacuum unless it was medically necessary. when the doctor suggested it, ascher's heartbeat was still steady and strong (as it was through my entire labor). there wasn't a medical issue, other than the fact that i was exhausted and had been pushing for several hours. we debated the issue, but my nurse encouraged me and told me that she really thought i could do it without the assistance of the vacuum. this encouraged me and gave me the push (pun intended) that i needed.

finally (finally, finally!) at 9:55 a.m. ascher arrived! it was such an emotional experience...jeff and i were both crying (side note...jeff swore he wasn't going to cry!). childbirth was unlike anything i have experienced. i have tried, since giving birth, to describe the rush of emotions and pain, but words can't do it justice. my support team was out of this world! my nurses were amazing! and having jeff there, supporting me the entire time, was the ultimate! they were the perfect amount of support and encouragement.

so this was the little man that had been beating me up for months and months. ash was slightly disoriented and a strange, gray color. thankfully, with a little rubbing and warming up, his color improved quickly. after getting us both cleaned up i was finally able to cuddle. while i can't vouch for the cliche of forgetting all the pain at first sight of your child, i can say that it was worth it! what a crazy moment...that instant transition from woman to mother. i felt an immediate sense of wanting to protect him and shelter him. such emotions!

those first days were tough. i was sore...crazy sore! your body is beat up after all of that! ascher cried and ate and cuddled. jeff jumped into daddy mode immediately. he covered all diaper changes and wardrobe changes. he allowed me to lay in bed and focus on feeding and healing. we both tried to rest while we were in the hospital...at the time of delivery, we had both been up for almost 40 hours! sheer exhaustion! jeff's parents were there and helped take care of ash so we could catch some shut-eye. so very helpful. i swear to you, keep the onesies with witty phrases...the best gift to new parents is sleep!

coming home with a new baby is terrifying! i kept wondering why the hospital though we were qualified to handle such a huge responsibility. i felt like i had no idea what i was doing! and the tears kept coming! i would look at him and cry. i would think about being left alone with him and i would cry. this little man terrified me, yet i wanted to protect him. such a mix of emotions.

i covered some details of ascher's first days at home in my one month letter. ascher met a lot of family in those first weeks. we're slowly working toward developing a routine. we're still transitioning, but i think that's normal for as young as he is. he changes on a daily basis and i could stare at him from sun up to sun down. i am constantly amazed and want to be around him constantly. jeff says anytime someone else is holding him, he can see me itching to get my hands on him. hello, have you seen this child? how could you not love on him and want to hold him? it's a natural reaction!

i swear i am going to get better at blogging. i have to carve out a little time each day to post. well, each day may be an exaggeration...maybe each week. and hopefully jeff gets back on the blogging bandwagon. hopefully.

month one (and some change)

running a bit behind...here are our one month letters to ascher.

my dearest ascher,
how can i begin to describe how our lives have changed since you made your appearance one month ago? you arrived on a tuesday morning...slightly disoriented, but alert nonetheless. i knew immediately that i would love you and protect you forever. labor was unlike anything i had ever been through. daddy was there, encouraging me the entire time. i know that i couldn't have gotten through it without him. he was so amazing and supportive. i know that you will learn those qualities from him and i have faith that you will show your future wife the same respect and love.

in your first month, you have changed so much. you started as somewhat of a blob...a blob this mother loved with her whole heart. those first weeks, you ate, you slept, you pooped. repeat the process. you didn't do much else. it was a simple existence, but you rocked it. prior to your arrival, i had grandiose ideas of parenting. my plan was to have you sleeping in the crib from day one and to read to you every day and to shower every day. well, my little bug...those plans were out the window. out the window along with sleep. i was no longer concerned with where you slept, only that you actually slept (bassinet, bouncy seat, swing, my arms...). i didn't read to you every day...i was barely able to take a breath, let alone read a book. and showering? that was a luxury reserved for the other half of the world. thank goodness, you didn't mind a day-old mama.

your first month, you met a lot of family. of course, they all loved you. how could you not? you met gramma and grandpa wolf within the first hours of being born. they were so happy to finally meet you, especially after waiting with us in new hampshire for a week while i was overdue. i loved seeing you, daddy and grandpa together. three generations of wolfs. (side note: you have quite the footsteps to follow in...your dad and grandpa are pretty amazing men. i'm confident you'll be fine, though!) the next week, you met uncle dave, aunt jen and ellie and maddie. they were excited to meet you, too. and they drove so far! and finally, the week after that, you met mamaw. she traveled pretty far, too. she had the grandma touch and was able to calm you down just by being there. and she reassured me when i was having a breakdown (induced by sleepless nights and a screaming baby).

we had a few rough nights those first weeks. nights where you wanted to eat every hour and never sleep. i will apologize now for falling asleep during feedings and drooling on your cute little head. but let's be honest...it will probably happen again. parenting was harder than i thought it would be. but, just when i thought i was going to fall over with exhaustion or go insane from one of your fits, you would give me a smile. people will tell new parents that newborns don't smile, that it's just gas. i'm here to squash that lie...you smiled at your mama! and it made every hard part of my new job completely worth it. i would walk a million miles to see that smile or to hear your happy baby sounds. those squeaks you make when you're done eating or the soft sound of you breathing, deep in sleep. it is pure heaven.

you have a lot coming up in your next month. lots of changes...moving across the country, moving into a house. we hope you embrace those changes and continue to thrive. i look forward to watching you grow and to see your personality continue to emerge.

all my love,
mama

The word that best describes the first month of your life is, WOW! I have found myself saying that word more over the past month, than the rest of my life combined. The first time I used it was when you stuck your head out and greeted us. It was probably the most amazing thing I had ever seen. You were kind of a grayish color and the strongest memory I have of that moment is thinking, WOW, mommy just did that. Don’t tell anyone, but your dad was balling his eyes out at that same moment. I was just so proud of your mother and happy to see you. I can’t emphasize enough, the amount of pain and effort she went through to bring you to us, so please be good to her, forever!

After the initial shock and awe of the moment, I got into daddy mode. I grabbed the camera and started snapping photos of you. While doing that, I kept asking the nurses, he is okay right? He is healthy right? After an accurate finger and toe count and several re-assuring smiles from the nurses, I was convinced. After they cleaned you up and mommy got put back together, my job as the sole provider for my child was over. Yeah, dads get about 30 minutes of isolated parent time and that is about it. From that point on, it is all about you and the mommy. She fed you, she held you, she fed you again. It is an amazing thing to see the woman you marry turn into a mommy in the blink of any eye. There was no time to be overwhelmed or scared anymore, just 100% dedication to keeping you healthy and happy.

Once we got settled, Grandma and Grandpa Wolf came into the room and saw you for the first time. It was one of my happiest moments to see them so proud of what we had done. You were a handsome boy! After a few sleepless nights at the Alice Peck Day Hospital, we were ready to come home. The 2 bedroom apartment was not the home we envisioned for you, but we made due. We decorated the second bedroom with all sorts of cute stuff and made you a cozy home. Of course, after a full month you have not slept one single night in that cozy little home. Maybe next month…

love,
daddy

all smiles

i know that there are firm believers that newborns don't smile, but i guess those newborns didn't have such an amazing mama! after he eats and i change his pee-pants, we stare at each other and smile and laugh. ascher is a smiling machine (depending greatly on the mood). you call them gas, i call them a blessed life. i try to catch his expressions on camera, but today i actually got a "laugh" on video. enjoy!



and this is just a photo from a proud mama showing off her growing boy!



more updates to follow...including the remainder of the birth story.

hello world, meet ascher david

i started this post once already, but it never materialized. something more important must have gotten in the way...a feeding, a diaper change or a necessary cuddling. things have changed so dramatically in the past two weeks...almost three weeks now.

as cliche as it sounds, i can't imagine my life before this baby. though i am more tired than i have ever been, i am also happier than i have ever been (but, please don't ask me to repeat that statement at 4:00 am after an hour-long power feeding session!). i have watched jeff morph into such an amazing father and it has brought my love for him to an all-time high. i have done more than i ever thought i was capable of and i am amazed at the changes that our family has made in such a short period of time.

and now on to the good stuff...birth story! at least the first part of it, anyway! we'll see how much i actually have time to write.

ascher david graced us with his presence on june 30th at 9:55 a.m. i threatened with the idea of induction and lo and behold, a baby was born. although most of our blog followers (all two of you, both of you being family) know the birth story, i'm writing it down so i don't forget any of it! i want to be able to remember all of the details (gory details included) and at almost three weeks out, i can assure you those details are already getting a little fuzzy!

after my last doctors appointment on thursday, june 25th, i found out that my doctor would be out of town the next week. she had booked a vacation! didn't she realize that i was overdue? didn't she realize that she was supposed to deliver my baby in the next couple of days? where did she get off scheduling a trip during my delivery? it reminded me of the movie "knocked up" where seth rogan yells at the doc over the phone because he's at a bat mitzvah and not available for the delivery. she kind of left me hanging...not cool, doc, not cool!

lucky for me, i had met with both docs in the practice throughout my pregnancy, so it wasn't as scary as it could have been. at least i knew the doc that would be bringing my son into this world. don't get me wrong, i tried everything in my power to deliver over the weekend in hopes that my original doc would be the one in the room with me. alas, it was to no avail.

i started out monday, june 29th with another false alarm. i went to the hospital only to be hooked up to the monitors and be told that i wasn't in labor. i shake my fists at you, braxton hickes! damn you! my stand-in doc asked me to come back to the office in the afternoon for an exam. this would at least help us determine whether or not we were actually close to labor. this false alarm stuff was starting to get to me. and the nurses at the hospital were probably sick of me.

during my appointment that afternoon, we discussed induction. we decided that one week was far enough overdue and that i could be induced at anytime. we decided that i would check into the hospital the next morning at 7:30 am and start on pitocin to bring on labor.

after my afternoon exam (similar to an afternoon delight, but not really...hee hee!), i started having pretty major contractions. i went home and tried to nap them away, thinking that they were just a false alarm (fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me). we decided that we would go out for one last celebratory dinner with jeff's parents. we figured by the way that i was feeling that one way or another (induction or not), i would be having this baby by the next day. turns out that the contractions didn't put me in much of a celebratory mood. i wasn't able to eat and the dinner was cut fairly short.

Amanda relaxing just before we went for our celebratory dinner at Molly's

we headed home and began timing my contractions. jeff would gauge them by mild, medium and "oh &^*%!" while they were miserable, they weren't regulating the way they should have been. regardless, we headed to the hospital around 10:30 that evening. after vomiting all over the hospital bed (let the stripping of your modesty begin), i was told once again that i wasn't in "real" labor...this was just early labor. which, i don't know about you, but that's considered "labor" in my book! so, what was that saying again? fool me once...yeah, i was sent home once again! the nurse asked that i come back to the hospital when my contractions were 5 minutes apart and lasting for more than a minute.

after several hours of intense contractions at home, i demanded that jeff call the doctor. this was around 3:00 a.m. you know the scene in the movies where the pregnant lady snaps, her head spins and she flips out on her husband? yeah, jeff had made it 41 weeks and had not seen that woman...he saw her that night, though! i think i scared him! with contractions coming every couple of minutes (still not regular though...2 minutes, 4 minutes, 7 minutes, 3 minutes), they weren't regular, but sweet baby Jesus, they were intense! we're talking 2 whole minutes of a contraction! ladies, some of you know what i'm talking about! horrible! it appeared that this was the real thing and we headed to the hospital.

so i'll follow up with the remainder of the birth story soon. i knew this post was going to long, but i wanted to at least get it started. progress has been made on the blog-front!

numbers

a brief update in numbers:

1 whole pineapple core eaten to help "naturally" induce labor

1 grilled eggplant to assist the pineapple

countless varies of spicy food

11 days of maternity leave

2 phone calls to the doctor - just to give myself peace of mind

2 trips to the labor & delivery to monitor baby

1 more appointment this afternoon

we are happy to report that kato is healthy and has a very strong heartbeat.  his heartbeat rises appropriately with movement.  my blood pressure is still great.  contractions have gotten stronger, but still have yet to regulate.  seems that kato is completely content on making me wait.  

pineapple and eggplant

still waiting...we are officially 6 days overdue.  this child is clearly not mine, as he has no concept of being on time!  =)  

i've tried to eat the core of a pineapple and i'm planning a lunchtime feast of grilled eggplant.  these are both supposed to help with "natural induction."  if not, we move on to the not-so-natural induction techniques via the doc on monday.  we'll see if either actually work.  keep your fingers crossed!

other than that, it's just a waiting game.  no new updates.  

still pregnant

my due date has officially came and went with no labor action to speak of.  i swore that i wouldn't go past my due date.  i'm not sure how exactly i made this decision, but it's just what i thought.  i thought for sure that i would go early, not late.  i'm on time for everything...how did this happen?  i'm doing my best to stay patient.  here's the inside scoop though...it's not really working.  i don't do well with the whole waiting game.  i do better when i have some sort of control over any given situation!  

let's just all say a quick prayer that baby wolf makes his appearance soon and gives his mama a little relief.  in the meantime, i'll be hanging around the house with my feet propped up, reading a book and waiting.  

the waiting game...

a little glimpse of the past week:  

though i made it through the week, maternity leave has been surprisingly less than interesting.  i've gotten several things done around the apartment, read two books, watched some trash tv and rested up for the big day (funny, my last "big day" was my wedding!).  *twiddles thumbs in boredom...*

the doctors appointment this week (06/17) revealed no new information.  our next appointment is thursday (06/25).  i will be given an exam and induction will be discussed.  please keep those digits crossed that i don't have to actually have that discussion and little one will make things a bit easier on his mama.  and his daddy...bless jeff's heart for putting up with me!  

still dealing with daily (especially evening) contractions.  last night, i was certain things were happening.  i even finished packing my hospital bag...it only needed a few things, but i was procrastinating (i know, shocker!). 

my 29th birthday was spent enjoying sushi with the hubby.  please save the harassing comments...it was only the "safe" sushi.  nothing raw or high in mercury for this mama-to-be.  i crave wasabi...yumm!  it's the only "heat" i can eat and that does not result in intense heartburn.  and just between you and me, i was hoping the spiciness would put me into labor.  i will say that i had pretty intense contractions that evening.  

allow me to backtrack to thursday evening.  let me set the mood:  10 pm, relaxing in bed, watching a movie.  it's a beautiful evening, so the windows are wide open with a cool summer breeze coming in.  wait, what's that noise?  someone decided to move into at 10 pm...using a beast of a diesel moving truck.  not exactly a quiet mode of transportation.  frustrating, to say the least.  but, we didn't let that disturb our movie.  you know what did disturb our movie?  the central fire alarm going off!  it's a sound that i would be okay never hearing again.  jeff and i cluelessly fumbled around the apartment trying to figure out what we should do.  should be consider this a real fire and go outside or should we ignore it and put our head under the pillows?  we grabbed our cell phones and ging and left.  ginger will be the first to admit that she wasn't impressed with the sound and the flashing lights in the halls.  thank goodness there was not a newborn in our apartment.  it certainly would have made the situation even more difficult to handle.  though it was a false alarm (faulty alarm, so says the fire chief), it made me think about how things are going to change.  and change drastically.  no longer will the most important things we grab be the cell phones and the dog.  i promise to always be a mama-bear and look out for my little guy.  i promise to protect him from any harm, false alarm or not.  

but, i thought we had decided...

my dear hubby threw me for a loop yesterday (two loops to be exact)...

first, he tossed another name into the mix.  we had already decided on kato's official name.  we had even taken to calling him by said name in the last couple of weeks (which made it infinitely harder to not slip up in front of people).  last night, jeff throws out a "what do you think about the name XXX (not really XXX as in the Vin Diesel movie or the greasy diner on Purdue's campus...consider this a pen name)?"  well, i love the name.  i loved the name before he had said it...i found the name early on in the pregnancy, but for some reason it was never really considered.  whether or not i love it is not the issue...it's throwing me for a loop to think of another name.  baby boy, what are we going to name you?  please come prepared to let us know when you arrive.

second, the birth announcements.  i thought we were decided on one.  now, we're having second thoughts.  this is something that i had hoped to have done before going into labor (though at the rate things are going, who knows when that will be!).  my thought was i could just pop in a picture and click "order..." all from the comfort of my hospital bed.  so i probably won't be that on top of my game, but i have grand ideas and a plan.  any ideas, people?  jeff wants something unique and fairly non-traditional.  watch your mailboxes for further development...

today is day one of maternity leave.  not nearly as exciting as i had hoped.  i watched "a baby story" on tlc and sobbed.  please understand the sobbing i'm talking about...this was not an emotional cry like "oh this is so beautiful."  much more along the lines of "what the hell have i gotten myself into and is there anyway out of this (short of what i had just witnessed)."  

i started packing my hospital bag yesterday, which gave me some relief to my stress.  my stress only came from my procrastination, so in reality, it was an easy fix.  i think i am having slight contractions today, but i'm not really sure.  those dang braxton hicks are tricky little buggars.  i am an intelligent, educated woman that has utilized this body for the past (4 days shy of) 29 years...how do i not know what an actual contraction is?  i'm sure things will become more clear as things progress..

the gingy-bear is scheduled for a little grooming.  get our little mutt cleaned up before she meets her little brother.  she looks so cute and  young when she gets groomed and her breath smells much nicer.  we're looking forward to it...her?  probably not so much.

my mom's post-baby trip is planned and i couldn't be more excited!  i can't wait to have her here and soak up some of her expertise.  8 kids...how could she not have a little wisdom to pass on?  it makes me way too emotional to think of her holding my son.  which, by reasonable deduction means that i'm going to be a mama.  even at this late in the game, it seems so strange to me.  

jeff's parents might be getting slightly antsy and are debating heading up sooner rather than later (and i hope baby is sooner rather than later).  we can't wait to have them here.  i know there isn't much to do but wait, but being surrounded by family is always comforting.  they are such amazing grandparents and have been so supportive and excited throughout the entire pregnancy.  i'm happy they will be here to share this with us. 

kato, we're ready when you are (but please understand our lack of patience).  you are a much anticipated addition to this family.  we can't wait to see your face.  and don't be confused by mama's tears...i am scared, but not about  you.  in fact, i've never been more sure of anything in my life, little man.  

dear kato

letter to my kato: 

my dear little melon-sized boy, 

we've made it, little man.  you are officially full-term and could make your appearance at any moment.  you hear that, son?  i'm ready!  okay, so i haven't packed my hospital bag yet, but you'll soon learn that mama has a slight tendency to procrastinate!  i pray that you go easy on mama and don't drag this out!  let's be on time and not several weeks overdue.  pretty please.  do this one thing for me and i promise to buy you that new bike when you ask for it!

i hope you are as excited as we are!  we can't wait to meet you.  daddy is looking forward to introducing you to hockey (game 7 penguins vs. redwings tonight...go wings!)!  and you have a lot of people that are very anxious to meet you, even if they can't all be here right away.  

today was my last day of work and i am officially on maternity leave.  my only "job" at this point is preparing for your arrival.  that and propping my swollen feet up on pillows and whining to daddy that i'm achy or tired or achy and tired.  (and by the way, what is the deal with the swollen feet, son?  is this something you have control over?)  it was odd to leave today, knowing that when i returned, i would be a mother.  as is so common with life-changing events, things in life have taken on a specific time slot...before kato and the time that will be known as after kato.  i am glad to have only you to focus on...not sales and hospitality and projects that really have no bearing on my department.  

though i'm not sure (this is my first time as a pregnant lady), i'm fairly certain you've "dropped."  you are so low...the feeling is something like a watermelon being precariously balanced between my legs.  thank goodness you are a boy...it's not exactly a warm and fuzzy feeling.  but remember these words and be good to your future wife and mother of your children (though i am fairly certain no woman will ever be good enough for my first born).  

at 4:30 this morning, i laid awake with you kicking and rolling.  i rubbed you and told you how ready i was to meet you.  you kicked back in response and i like to think you were telling me you were excited too.  

i'm off to work on that hospital bag.  and at that point, it's game on.  you are officially welcome to join the family.  like i said, don't wait this one out too long.  i have a lot planned for my summer and you are a mighty big part of those plans. 

all my love, 

mama

weekly wrap-up

june 6th.  four years to the day that jeff and i met.  four years and we've been through so much.  it's amazing to try to picture my life without him.  without ginger.  without us.  seems hard to believe.  i've been so blessed.  

and on to the weekly wrap-up:  

another doctors appointment yesterday.  again, just a routine check-up.  and, again, nothing out of the ordinary.  of course, there were more questions about pain medication during labor.  the doctor actually discussed a medication-free delivery and told me that i might be able to handle it.  jeff nearly fell out of his chair laughing.  really?  it's not that funny...i'm tough.  okay, who am i kidding?  i am a complete and total wimp.  i know i am the furthest thing from tough, but i am surprisingly open to all the different types of medication.  who knows...maybe i'll forgo the epidural?  but, i like being informed and want to go in with an open-mind.  i'm trying not to keep too much control over the situation...especially knowing that there is very little that i can actually have control over during childbirth.  

next week is my last week of work.  i'm looking forward to wrapping up a few projects and just being done.  it will be nice to have a little more time to relax. 

if you would have asked me in my first trimester to predict how i would feel at 38 weeks, i would have sworn i would be miserable!  surprisingly enough, i still feel pretty great.  in the evenings, i'm fairly worn out, but it's manageable.  this week has been the first week i've really started to feel pregnant and huge.  i've been fairly swollen the past couple of days, which isn't pleasant.  but, again, it's manageable.  

we participated in the relay for life today.  jeff participated as part of a work-organized team.  it was hot, but i walked a few laps with him around the track.  he's headed out first thing in the morning to assist with cleanup.  i'm proud of him for participating.  it's such an amazing cause. 

we also went to a cook-out with some of my co-workers.  everyone commented on what a trooper i was for being there!  i started to fade fast after 9 pm, though.  it was great to see everyone, but i can't lie...it will be nice when i can relax and have a beer!  

i'm just ready for this little guy to be here!  two more weeks...here's to hoping he's punctual like his mama!  

hold on to your seats...

jeff commented that this was a pretty random post...but, i had a lot of topics to cover!  try to keep up, my thoughts are apparently random and in no particular order!

37 weeks.  another doctors appointment down.  my doctor commented that she couldn't believe how far along i was...her?  can you imagine how i feel?  at this point, i'm at a full-on waddle and can't imagine my belly growing any further!  i'm still enjoying the pregnancy, but feeling pretty impatient to meet the person who's given me a daily ass-kicking for the past several months.  it will be nice to put a face to my assailant.  

"what to expect when you're expecting" tells me that kato is officially full-term.  pretty comforting to know that if he were born today, he would be ready for life on the "outside"...which makes it sound like prison.  his "prison" is done in many shades of blue and has a beautiful recliner...if we could all be so lucky! 

jeff was unable to attend this week's doctors appointment due to work conflict, but it didn't stop him from sending a list of questions for me to ask!  i couldn't ask for a better father for kato (or a more supportive husband for me), though...37 weeks pregnant and he's only missed two appointments!  once again, my weight, baby bump and blood pressure are right where they should be.  kato is estimated (with pokes and prods) to be around 6 pounds.  "what to expect when you're expecting" estimates the weight right around 6 1/2 pounds, so we are pretty much spot-on!  

this week has really hammered the point home that we are going to be parents!  only a couple more weeks and our family dynamic is going to change drastically!  i've started to stress a little bit (okay, a lot a bit) thinking about the labor and delivery process!  birthing classes concluded with a discussion about options in pain medication.  i was glad for the information, but it was scary to think about the actual process and why exactly i would need them!  talking to my doctor helped eliminate a little bit of my fear, but let's just say if there was a way out of the entire process, i would gladly accept it!  do you think science can magically answer my wishes and find a miraculous way to get this child out of me with no pain?  immaculate delivery, so to speak? 

i had a slight panic moment after reading through a list of items we need for a new baby....i thought we were more prepared!  turns out, there are still a lot of nursery items that we are missing.  i thought i was the prepared mama, not the wait until the last minute mama.  this isn't typical of either of us, but there isn't anyone to blame!  jeff assured me that we were fine and that a quick trip to the store would eliminate a lot of stress.  and it did!  we finally have bath products and are ordering a large supply of diapers this evening (after comparison shopping at nearly every website and store).  

after working through my panic, it actually proved to be a productive weekend at the wolf household.  we finished the last loads of baby laundry, installed the car seat base, i got my hair done and we purchased some last minute supplies.  

for those of you who know, my pregnancy cravings have run the gamut from lemonade to reubens (yum!) to root beer to egg salad.  there is no rhyme or reason to a single craving.  now, it has stopped on cereal!  i can't get enough.  i told jeff today (while grocery shopping) that i could eat cereal for every meal!  to me, it's perfection!  thankfully for kato, daddy makes sure i eat more than just cereal!  he makes sure i have protein and veggies and all the good-for-you, baby-growing nutrients!  

after a long drive to nowhere on saturday (which was relaxing and exactly what we needed), we went for a quick dinner.  we decided on a restaurant that we have only been to once, but thought we would try it out.  we had average service and the food was delish!  once i had finished eating, i took one last drink of my root beer.  i thought i had gotten a small piece of ice through the straw, so i bit down on it...turns out, i didn't get a piece of ice, i got a piece of (what looked like) glass!  my poor tooth didn't like biting into whatever it was!  of course, i immediately spit my mouthful of root beer and glass onto my plate.  jeff thought i was throwing up...yes, on my dinner plate.  please, i'm a lady!  

after inspecting the two small shards, jeff and i both think it was very sharp plastic, not glass.  we explained it to the server and of course a manager came over to apologize.  we chatted for a while...i think she was relieved to find that we were so understanding about the situation.  as a former server, i understand that these things can (and do) happen.  after the manager rubbed my belly (and then awkwardly apologized for rubbing my belly), she wished us luck and bought us dinner.  it was a scary situation, but jeff and i were both calm.  would freaking out would have helped the situation?  no, not really.  and i think the manager and server were both so grateful for our calm demeanor.  

i think a scary situation just further cements that it's not just you in this world.  while i didn't swallow glass and my esophagus is safely intact, it shook us up a little.  it's funny how a child who is not yet born can make you consider so many possibilities.  

graduation day

we are officially done with our child-birthing classes.  i wish this meant that we actually felt prepared, but i'm still feeling anxious.  jeff?  jeff doesn't get nervous about much and has been pretty level through the entire experience.  regardless, we are as ready as we are ever going to be.  however, i am thankful for our now weekly doctors appointments to answer all of our last minute questions!  

good news (that i'm not certain i documented)...my iron levels are up.  the blood test revealed higher iron levels than my doctor initially suspected.  a follow-up conversation with my doctor at this weeks appointment (friday) should answer any remaining questions.  

contractions have been coming and going.  nothing major and the doctor swears it's normal.  they don't feel "normal" to me, but i've never done this before!  they seem to happen first thing in the morning and late in the evening.  i just keep telling myself that my body is preparing.  sleep is still a distant memory, but i used the weekend to catch up on naps!  i only wish i could take naps in the middle of the day during the week, but work tends to frown on naps under the desk.  my maternity wardrobe is diminishing as fewer items fit the bill of comfort-wear (never in my wildest dreams would i think fashion fell in line behind comfort, but it is a solid reality at this point).  if i could convince my boss that lounge pants fall under the category "business casual," i think i would be set.  unfortunately, i don't think he's going to budge!

kato (sir kix a lot) is still a kicking machine, keeping me on my toes!  he gets hiccups on a daily basis and they often keep me from falling asleep.  they shake my insides, but it makes me laugh.  

this is a quick update but it's been a quiet week.  another doctors appointment on friday.  i will update further this weekend.  

mama always said if you don't have anything nice to say...

when we started this blog, we intended it for our family and friends.  it seemed like a great opportunity to keep everyone up-to-date on the progress of our pregnancy and the changes that were occurring in our growing family.  in all reality, we are fairly certain our parents are the only consistent blog readers (and we are both fine with that).  

jeff and i are truly flattered that we are gaining readers (or blog lurkers who feel it necessary to remain anonymous).  who knew that our small, little blog meant for family and friends would become an open forum for the circumcision debate?  jeff's intent with his post last night was to share a funny story from our interview with the pediatricians.  instead of reading the post for what it was, people seem to use the mere mention of the word circumcision in our blog as a free ticket to spout their own views and beliefs.  though we respect those opinions, jeff's post wasn't seeking advice on the topic or approval of our decision.  we appreciate the passion that people have shown regarding this topic, however, we ask that you find another forum to express your thoughts regarding the debate.  

so to wrap up, we are happy to leave our blog open for everyone to read.  we do ask that you read our blog for what it is, a cutesy record of our journey into parenthood and all the joy that follows.  if you can relate, great, leave us a comment.  if you want to judge us or press your views on us, save your comments for another blog.  kato doesn't need the negative energy...

  

on a side note, jeff is impressed that so many women are experts on circumcision!  he thinks that they must be grateful that they still have the 20,000 nerve endings in their penises, because he certainly doesn't miss his...